Friday, January 7, 2011
Thank God it's Friday...I don't know about you, but this was a very long week and yet I didn't accomplish a thing. Been very torn between creating paintings and finding a part-time job. Of course I would love if the painting business picked up and I could do this full time, but the economy is still not cooperating and although the jobs are coming in very slowly...I have a teenager on her way to college and major medical bills from my remicade treatments. Over $2,000.00 to be exact. Ouch!
You see last year I was working as a cafeteria washroom attendant for a year at a high school part-time. Hours were great 9:30 - 1:30 so I still had my afternoon free to do housework, grocery shopping and occasionally painting. But working in the washroom was very physical and so I became very very tired after work and so the truth be known I didn't get a whole lot accomplished after work.
For those that don't know my history I have Crohn's disease.
What is crohn's...I'm glad you asked. :) Crohn's is an autoimmune disease. Our white cells help fight diseases in our body...mine attacks my body. For a reason unknown until I see Christ, my white cells attack my vision and my lower intestines. The cell activity attack each other causing scare tissue in my vision. I've had two cataracts removed already and I'm only in my 40's. I have a detached retina in my right eye. I can only see 20% through my right eye, so when the cells act up causing scaring or a haze in my vision it is very difficult to drive, read and forget about getting around at night. I'm blind.
When the cells attack my colon, I become very ill. throwing up, diarrhea or constipation, extreme pain (like someone is taking a knife to my guts and just going from one end to the other) After an attack - I'm weak and usually have to rest for an hour or so. Straining with my vision makes me tired too. I've been fighting this battle for over 6 years now. Been on remicade for over 2 years and so far it's been putting my crohn's in remission. But lately with surgery for my right eye (taking the second cateract out) and not being able to get my remicade due to insurance issues I've been in a lot of pain.
Oh, and two years ago I had such a drastic attack that I developed rumatory arthritis...and so that flairs up when my crohn's is getting active. Meaning, I have joint pain.
In 2010 I decided I needed to start running again, hoping that I would just get healthier and wouldn't have to rely on the treatments. Some days are good, some days are bad. Usually when I get a good run in I have to rest two days. I would love to get to the stage of being able to run everyday.
When my oldest was in middle school I was an assistant coach in cross country and track. I loved it. It helped me take the focus off of my issues and focused on the kids. I love helping kids fine tune their running skills. Cross Country is a little family and many kids turn to that support that may not do well in other sports that are more competitive. It doesn't matter if you fast or not, EVERYONE supports you in cross country and I have such admiration for those kids that run in 90 degree weather. You won't see a football playing doing that. It's a sport that goes unrecognized in this country and so does track another sport very dear to my heart.
My daughter is a state champion and I'm so proud of her accomplishments. State! WOW...she's amazing to watch. Everyone can hear me I'll cheer for anyone if they play fair...you don't play fair then I'll yell at you too! When coaching they use to call me the bad cop. LOL. But I love those kids and they knew I would cheer for them anytime!
Now my daughter being a senior in high school she has many colleges looking at her which is awesome. But many of the athletes have asked me to come back to cheer them on. I have a spot on the trail...around the last 1/2 mile to encourage them to continue and pull through. They say they need it, and they love it. So I'll probably still be out there.
See...I was a runner too in high school and because of an injury I wasn't able to run my senior year. It stunk, cuz I was good. So I totally respect the sport in all aspects. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
My goal: 1/2 marathon before I'm 50. But for now...I have to call my doctor to get a steroid shot in my eye to help with the vision problem...rest and then call for an appointment for my remicade, cuz the pain is bad today. Insurance payment or not.
As the saying goes, "If the mama ain't happy, no one is happy"
created by Teresa Stern