Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Out With The Old, 

In With The New Attitude!

       Well here we are coming up to another, where did 2012 go? It seems like a blur to me especially. With a lot of change going on in my life both negative and yet positive. I try so hard to refocus on what is important. Yes, my kids are important but they are more independent which is good...well kind of, the boys still need a kick start ever so often, but for the most part, just letting them know I am there is the most important thing I can do for them. 
       In 2011,  I started back to work full-time at a custom shirt company. It's been a difficult year to say the least. Made ok money at first, but then when I was on my own and dealing with 1/2 the debt. I soon realized that that job I had was not cutting it. I've been in search for another higher paying job since then or a second job...all I can say Im glad I have a job at all. The search has been insane. Bogus interviews, commission only, no benefit (thank you already have that), too much experience, not enough experience. Creates a fear in me about my children's future. 
      On top of it all I miss the ARTwalks, mingling with other artists to get those creative juices flowing again. My energy level has been slim and nap. That is about it anymore. Injuries make it even more difficult to get my enthusiasm back. In short, hurt my ankle in a mud run, didn't allow enough time to heal properly went to my back and been dealing with pain for three months solid. This is a very excuse for me to become an alcoholic...but I won't. Think of the children, Teresa, think of the children...oh wait it's that 19 year old that drove you to drink when she was in high school. Ok Teresa, you can do this, you can be strong. It's in you.
     Oh - and don't even get me started on dating at my age. I'd rather stick a hot poker in my eyeball than to deal with the morons out there. Note to self: " No more good men in Charlotte - go find gay sugar daddy". Yep you read it right. Come on think about it. He'd make a great friend AND i'd have someone going to all the art shows and wine tasting I wanted...true friends til the end. 
     All in all - I have to start this new year with a new attitude. I want my kids to be happy (and they are - it's just the mother in us) and yes, I would like to be happy. But the only way that is going to happen, is to be determined that working hard will end up paying off...yes, you might be dead, but think of the role model you will be. (I am being very sarcastic right now if you don't know me). 
I need to find that one thing (beside chocolate) that can create that drive in me again? I do know one thing that has kept me together this long. And it's the TRUTH people: "With Christ, ALL Things Are Possible" - Amen.